No way would Tony blow his suits up. No. Way.
This scene is so out of character. Tony’s suits mean everything to him. Everything. The Mark I wasn’t just a means of escape from the cave, it was representative of a new beginning Tony’s suits gave him a means to change his life. To redirect his focus into helping people. There is a panel (and damn if I can find it) where he is sitting in front of them and he calls them his ‘babies’.
He spent all his time and energy and resources building them for a reason. Not just to assuage his fears (according to mcu) but to be sure they are cutting edge and capable of saving those who can’t save themselves (comic cannon). Even when he has Extremis he keeps his suits.
Tony is one of the most compassionate male characters in fiction. If he has to sacrifice himself to save another, he will. Without a moments thought for himself. The suits aid him in this. They physically enable him to be a better man. The man he wants so desperately to be. And yet according to mcu cannon he would blow them up just to make Pepper happy? No. Just no.
No way. No way in hell would he destroy them. Not for Pepper, Not for Steve. Not for anyone. He says it in Iron Man 1: “there is nothing but the next mission’. To imply that Tony would give it all up for love is to diminish his character so horribly. Tony is NOT a self centered man. To have him give in for Pepper is to imply that he thinks only of himself, his own future happiness That is not the kind of futurist Tony is. He knows, he inherently just knows that those suits will help him assist in the future of this planet. He would never put himself and his own happiness first. Never. You can see the look on his face when Jarvis blows them up. He knows it isn’t right. He is not at all comfortable with this move. Being an Avenger means everything to Tony. That he would imply he will give it all up for Pepper is wrong, so very wrong. Regardless of if they are going to put in Avengers 2 that Tony now has Extremis, the fact of the matter is that they didn’t clarify it at all in IM3 and we are left believing he doesn’t and that he has in fact blown them all up to make Pepper happy.
Tony has killed to keep the suit out of enemy hands. He has bled for that damn suit. He has lost friends and family because of it. He has literally lost his mind to keep the suit and others safe and to have him give it up for one person? No. Tony is Iron Man whether he is encased bodily in the suit or if the suit is implanted within him.
When Tony says ‘the suit and I are one’ he means it. Down to his very soul, the man means it.